Really! I’m not interested in what Jesus would do, or Muhammed; or Moses. I’m quite prepared to be responsible to my decisions.
The 9/11 hijackers are in hell… the victims in heaven! Unless you agree with Al Qaeda, in which cast the hijackers are in heaven and the victims in hell!
Unless you’re an atheist, in which case all of them are simply dead victims of stupidity.
Dear Pentecostal Christians,
This is how you see yourself while praying in tongues
This is how the rest of us see you (Muppet Chef)
Why God never received a PHD
. He has only one major publication and it’s in Old Hebrew
. His work has no references and it was not published in a peer-reviewed journal
. Academic scholars constantly question the book’s source and authorship
. He often threatens to smite those who support any of his colleague’s work
. He created the world ages ago, but his recent work was never as impressive
. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results
. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects
. When his experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning his subjects
. He expelled his first two students for trying to learn on their own
. He rarely came to class and just told students to read the book
. Many students swear he had his son teach the class
. His office hours are infrequent and are held on a mountain to in the desert
. Although he only gave 10 assignments, most of his students still fail
Chruch: A place where sheep congregate to worship a zombie on a stick that changes into a cracker on Sundays.
Omniscient? Why doesn’t he seem to know how to have fun?
Godless Gross. He writes an “article”. We all Face/Palm
Prayer: The idea that God’s plans are so unimportant that he will change them if you ask him to.
Religion: Just do whatever the Giant Asshole in the sky tells you to do.
Atheism: There isn’t a por of gold at the end of he rainbow either.