Tim Minchin – The Good Book (Live)

Life is like an ocean voyage and our bodies are the ships
And without a moral compass we would all be cast adrift
So to keep us on our bearings, the Lord gave us a gift
And like most gifts you get, it was a book

I only read one book, but it’s a good book, don’t you know
I act the way I act because the Good Book tells me so
If I wanna known how to be good, it’s to the Good Book that I go
‘Cos the Good Book is a book and it is good and it’s a book

I know the Good Book’s good because the Good Book says it’s good
I know the Good Book knows it’s good because a really good book would
You wouldn’t cook without a cookbook and I think it’s understood
You can’t be good without a Good Book ‘cos it’s good and it’s a book
And it is good for cookin’

I tried to read some other books, but I soon gave up on that
The paragraphs ain’t numbered and they complicate the facts
I can’t read Harry Potter ‘cos they’re worshipping false gods and that
And Dumbledore’s a poofter and that’s bad, ‘cos it’s not good

Morality is written there in simple white and black
I feel sorry for you heathens, got to think about all that
Good is good and evil’s bad and goats are good and pigs are crap
You’ll find which one is which in the Good Book, ‘cos it’s good
And it’s a book, and it’s a book

I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter
The kittens were adorable and they made my family laugh
But as they grew they started misbehavin’
So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath
When the creatures in your care start being menaces
The answers can be found right there in Genesis!
Chapter 6, Verse 5-7!

Swing your partner by the hand
Have a baby if you can
But if the voices your head
Say to sacrifice your kid
To satiate your loving God’s
Fetish for dead baby blood
It’s simple fate, the Book demands
So raise that knife up in your hand!

Before the Good Book made us good, there was no good way to know
If a thing was good or not that good or kind of touch and go
So God decided he’d give writing allegoric prose a go
And so he wrote a book and it was generally well-received

The Telegraph said, “This God is reminiscent of the Norse.”
The Times said, “Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses.”
The Mail said, “Lots of massacres, a violent tour de force.
If you only read one book this year, then this one is a book
And it is good, and it’s a book!”

Swing your daughter by the hand
But if she gets raped by a man
And refuses then to marry him
Stone her to death!

If you just close your eyes and block your ears
To the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years
Then morally, guess what? You’re off the hook
And thank Christ you only have to read one book

Just because the book’s contents
Were written generations hence
By hairy desert-dwelling gents
Squatting in their dusty tents
Just because what Heaven said
Was said before they’d leavened bread
Just ‘cos Jesus couldn’t read
Doesn’t mean that we should need
When manipulating human genes
To alleviate pain and fight disease
When deciding whether it’s wrong or right
To help the dyin’ let go of life
Or stop a pregnancy when it’s
Just a tiny blastocyst
There’s no reason why we should take a look
At any other book
But the Good Book
‘Cause it’s good
And it’s a book
And it’s a book
And it’s quite good!

Good is good and evil’s bad
And kids get killed when God gets mad
And you’d better take a good look
At the Good Book

Buy Minchin’s music on Amazon

Extremes?

People like to frame a lot of our views as if they’re the exact opposite of their own views.

One Extreme: Endorse religion on money, in the pledge, etc. eg. One Nation Under God
The other extreme: Don’t use the government to promote any religious view

One Extreme: Only straight people can get married
The other extreme: Everyone can get married

This gives them a certain advantage. It lets them say things like:
. You’re just as fundamentalist as I am.
. You’re trying to force your views on everyone else, just like me.

However, our views aren’t the other extreme. They’re the neutral stance.
One Extreme: Endorse religion on money, in the pledge, etc. eg. One Nation Under God
Neutral: Don’t use the government to promote any religious view
The other extreme: Endorse atheism on the money and in the pledge, etc. EG: One Nation Without God/s

One Extreme: Only straight people can get married
Neutral: Everyone can get married
The other extreme:Only gay people can get married

“Only gay people can get married.”
But almost nobody is arguing for these, because we’re not bigots trying to force our views on other people. They are.

*There are spelling errors in this, like in your Bible/Qoran/Torah/Book of Morman… there are hundreds of holy books.
If you want a book relatively free of spelling errors read a dictionary (the zebra did it).

 

Build up those strawmen, trashevolution

From the hilarious site: trashevolution.com

Teenagers of America,

it seems only natural that living in a free and bountiful America gives most young people reason to hope for a good life.

So, I ask you, why in the world would you study a subject that—

triples the possibility that you—or one of your teenage friends—will commit suicide?

encourages you to become a homosexual?

traps you in its “special” con game?

harms your abilities in good thinking? 

teaches you to be superstitious?

teaches you to believe that cartoons are representations of real life?

Well, Mr. or Miss Teenager of America, what subject could you possibly study that likely will put one or more of the above crimps into your life?

Please read on and learn!

 

Why is it 2008 if the world is “millions of years old”?

21 Facts that Evolutionists CAN’T ANSWER!
#10 If the world is “millions of years old” why is it only 2008?

I wish I could say that this is Poe but I suspect, especially
given the illogical responses in the Hermione post, that this level of
reasoning is what we can expect.
It’d be a strawman argument, if it only had a brain.

The Straw Man Bird Cage Argument

The bird cage argument.
A normal unadulterated person, who has to indoctrination, will look at this empty bird cage and contemplate the cage was built with ‘purpose’ in mind. They will understand thatt his cage was built with a pre-associated goal because the proposed function of the cage exhibits ‘design’.

On the other hand, we have atheists. Who, although observing the exact same cage, will conclude that not only does the cage have no purpose, but the cage is also self governing and at some distant past time, managed to create iteslf.

Atheists lack a belief in god/s. The rest of this shit is just made up by theists.  It reflects their illogical thought patterns, not mine.