The Ugly American rears its ugly head.

tsunami is karma for pearl harbour

These Americans don’t have to care about Japanese tsunami victims.  Clearly Japan has earned this terrible disaster for not being on America’s side during WWII.

This xenophobic belief system says: “bad things only happen to bad people”.  It has harden people’s hearts to the plight of innocent victims of a natural disaster.  Average people.  I hope, for the sake of Americans on the San Andres fault, that Japan is not so hard hearted when their time comes.

I’m lucky, I understand that the Japanese are my brothers and sisters, that their troubles are my troubles.  So I’ll make a modest donation to a reputable, non-proselytizing charity who will offer a helping hand, medical supplies and real help on my behalf.

Stephen Fry on the Catholic Church

The strange thing about this church, it is obsessed with sex, absolutely obsessed. Now they will say we with our permissive society and rude jokes are obsessed. No we have a healthy attitude, we like it, its fun, it’s fun, it’s jolly, because it’s a primary impulse. It can be dangerous and dark and difficult, it’s a bit like food in that respect only even more exciting. The only people who are obsessed with food are anorexics and the morbidly obese, and that in erotic terms is the Catholic church in a nutshell.

Welcome to Hell – Rowan Atkinson

Ah, hello.. it’s nice to see you all here.. Now, as the more perceptive of you’d probably realised by now, this is hell.. and I am the devil, good evening.. ah, but you can call me Toby if you’d like, we try to keep things informal here, as well as infernal.. that’s just a little joke of mine, I tell it every time.. Now!. you’re all here, for… eternity. Ooh!.. which I hardly need to tell you, it’s a heck of a long time. Umm, you’ll all get to know each other pretty well by the end, but for now, am I going to have to split you up into groups.. will you stop screaming!?.. thank you.. Now, murderers.. murderers, over here please.. thank you.. looters and pillagers over here.. thieves if you could join them and lawyers you’re in that lot. Uh, fornicators if you could step forward.. my God, there are a lot of you.. uh, can I split you up into adulterers and the rest.. male adulterers if you could just form a line in front of that small guillotine in the corner there.. thank you. Uhh, the French, are you here?.. if you’d just like to come down here with the Germans.. I’m sure you’ll have plenty to talk about. Okay, umm, atheists.. atheists?.. over here please, you must be feeling a right bunch of nitwits?.. looks so.. never mind. And finally Christians, Christians?.. ah yes, I’m sorry, I’m afraid the Jews were right. If you could come down here, that would be really kind. Thank you. Okay, right. Well, are there any questions? Yes? No, I’m afraid we don’t have any toilets. Um, if you read your bible, you might have seen that it was Damnation without relief, so if you didn’t go before you came, then I’m afraid that you’re not going to enjoy yourself very much, but then I believe that’s the idea. Okay, well it’s over to you, Adolf and I’ll catch you all later at the barbeque.. bye!

Tim Minchin – Thank You God

After a show in Australia, Tim was confronted by a man named Sam, who claimed that God cured his mum’s cataracts. This song is Tim’s response.

Lyrics:

I have an apology to make,
I’m afraid I made a big mistake,
I turned my face away from You, Lord.
I was too blind to see the light,
I was too weak to feel your might,
I closed my eyes,
I couldn’t see the truth, Lord.
But then like Saul on the Damascus road,
You sent a message to me and so,
I have had the truth revealed to me.
Please forgive me all those things I said,
I’ll no longer betray you, Lord,
I will pray to you instead.
And I will say thank you, thank you, thank you God,
Thank you, thank you, thank you God.

Thankyou God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum.
I had no idea but it’s suddenly so clear now,
I feel like such a cynic how could I have been so dumb.
Thank you for displaying how praying works ,
A particular prayer in a particular church,
Thank Sam for this chance to acknowledge this omnipotent ophthalmologist.
Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum.
I didn’t realise that it was so simple,
But you’ve shown a great example of just how it can be done,
You only need to pray in a particular spot,
To a particular version of a particular god ,
And if you pull that off without a hitch,
He will fix one eye on one middle-class white bitch.
I know in the past my outlook has been limited,
I couldn’t see examples of where life had been divinitive ,
But I can admit it when the evidence is clear,
As clear as Sam’s mum’s new cornea.
Extremely clear!
Extremely clear.

Thankyou God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum.
I have to admit that in the past I have been skeptical,
But Sam described this miracle and I am overcome.
How fitting that the citing of a sight-based intervention, (corrected by Mark. “Sighting!” What could I have been thinking?)
Should open my eyes to this exciting new dimension.
It’s like someone put an eye chart on the wall in front of me,
And the top five letters said I C G O D.

Thank you Sam for showing how my point of view has been so flawed.
I assumed there was no God at all but now I see that’s cynical,
It’s simply that His interests aren’t particularly broad.
He’s largely undiverted by the starving masses,
Or the inequality between the classes.
He gives out strictly limited passes,
Redeemable for surgery or two-for-one glasses.

I feel so shocking for historically mocking.
Your interests are clearly confined to the ocular.
I bet given the chance you’d eschew the divine,
And start a little business selling contacts online.

Fuck me Sam, what are the odds that of history’s endless parade of gods,
That the god that you just happen to be taught to believe in is the actual one and he digs on healing,
But not the AIDS-ridden African nations, or the victims of the plague or the flood addled Asians,
But healthy, privately-insured Australians, with common and curable corneal degenerations? (Edited by Andrew)

This story of Sam’s has but a single explanation:
A surgical god who digs on magic operations.
No it couldn’t be mistaken attribution of causation,
Born of a coincidental temporal correlation,
Exacerbated by a general lack of education,
Vis-a-vis physics in Sam’s parish congregation.
And it couldn’t be that all these pious people are liars.
It couldn’t be an artifact of confirmation bias.
A product of group think, (corrected by Mark)
A mass delusion,
An Emperor’s-New-Clothes-style fear of exclusion.

No it’s more likely to be an all powerful magician,
Than the misdiagnoses of the initial condition,
Or one of many cases of spontaneous remission,
Or a record-keeping glitch by the local physician.
No, the only explanation for Sam’s mum seeing:
They prayed to an all-knowing superbeing.
To the omnipresent master of the universe,
And he liked the sound of their muttered verse.
So for a bit of a change from his usual stunt,
Of being a sexist, racist, murderous cunt,
He popped down to Dandenong and just like that,
Used his powers to heal the cataracts,
Of Sam’s mum.
Of Sam’s mum.

Thankyou God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum.
I didn’t realise that it was such a simple thing.
I feel like such a ding-a-ling, what an ignorant scum.
Now I understand how prayer can work,
A particular prayer in a particular church,
In a particular style, with particular stuff,
And for particular problems that aren’t particularly tough,
And for particular people, preferably white,
For particular senses, preferably sight,
A particular prayer in a particular spot,
To a particular version of a particular god.
And if you get that right, he just might,
Take a break from giving babies malaria,
And pop down to your local area,
To fix the cataracts of your mum.
Hallelujah!

The miraculous cure of Sam’s Mum’s cataracts shows Tim Minchin how wrong he has been to not believe in gods.

Video doesn’t work but this is the audio:


Thank You God – Tim Minchin | Musicians Available

http://www.muziboo.com/Kismet/music/thank-you-god-tim-minchin/#

12 Oct 2013
I found another copy on youtube

Lyrics:

I have an apology to make,
I’m afraid I made a big mistake,
I turned my face away from You, Lord.
I was too blind to see the light,
I was too weak to feel your might,
I closed my eyes,
I couldn’t see the truth, Lord.
But then like Saul on the Damascus road,
You sent a message to me and so,
I have had the truth revealed to me.
Please forgive me all those things I said,
I’ll no longer betray you, Lord,
I will pray to you instead.
And I will say thank you, thank you, thank you God,
Thank you, thank you, thank you God.
Thankyou God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum.
I had no idea but it’s suddenly so clear now,
I feel like such a cynic how could I have been so dumb.
Thank you for displaying how praying works ,
A particular prayer in a particular church,
Thank Sam for this chance to acknowledge this omnipotent ophthalmologist.
Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum.
I didn’t realise that it was so simple,
But you’ve shown a great example of just how it can be done,
You only need to pray in a particular spot,
To a particular version of a particular god ,
And if you pull that off without a hitch,
He will fix one eye on one middle-class white bitch.
I know in the past my outlook has been limited,
I couldn’t see examples of where life had been divinitive ,
But I can admit it when the evidence is clear,
As clear as Sam’s mum’s new cornea.
Extremely clear!
Extremely clear.
Thankyou God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum.
I have to admit that in the past I have been skeptical,
But Sam described this miracle and I am overcome.
How fitting that the citing of a sight-based intervention, (corrected by Mark. “Sighting!” What was I thinking!?)
Should open my eyes to this exciting new dimension.
It’s like someone put an eye chart on the wall in front of me,
And the top five letters said I C G O D.
Thank you Sam for showing how my point of view has been so flawed.
I assumed there was no God at all but now I see that’s cynical,
It’s simply that His interests aren’t particularly broad.
He’s largely undiverted by the starving masses,
Or the inequality between the classes.
He gives out strictly limited passes,
Redeemable for surgery or two-for-one glasses.
I feel so shocking for historically mocking.
Your interests are clearly confined to the ocular.
I bet given the chance you’d eschew the divine,
And start a little business selling contacts online.
Fuck me Sam, what are the odds that of history’s endless parade of gods,
That the god that you just happen to be taught to believe in is the actual one and he digs on healing,
But not the AIDS-ridden African nations, or the victims of the plague or the flood addled Asians,
But healthy, privately-insured Australians, with common and curable corneal degenerations? (Edited by Andrew)
This story of Sam’s has but a single explanation:
A surgical god who digs on magic operations.
No it couldn’t be mistaken attribution of causation,
Born of a coincidental temporal correlation,
Exacerbated by a general lack of education,
Vis-a-vis physics in Sam’s parish congregation.
And it couldn’t be that all these pious people are liars.
It couldn’t be an artifact of confirmation bias.
A product of group think, (corrected by Mark)
A mass delusion,
An Emperor’s-New-Clothes-style fear of exclusion.
No it’s more likely to be an all powerful magician,
Than the misdiagnoses of the initial condition,
Or one of many cases of spontaneous remission,
Or a record-keeping glitch by the local physician.
No, the only explanation for Sam’s mum seeing:
They prayed to an all-knowing superbeing.
To the omnipresent master of the universe,
And he liked the sound of their muttered verse.
So for a bit of a change from his usual stunt,
Of being a sexist, racist, murderous cunt,
He popped down to Dandenong and just like that,
Used his powers to heal the cataracts,
Of Sam’s mum.
Of Sam’s mum.
Thankyou God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum.
I didn’t realise that it was such a simple thing.
I feel like such a ding-a-ling, what an ignorant scum.
Now I understand how prayer can work,
A particular prayer in a particular church,
In a particular style, with particular stuff,
And for particular problems that aren’t particularly tough,
And for particular people, preferably white,
For particular senses, preferably sight,
A particular prayer in a particular spot,
To a particular version of a particular god.
And if you get that right, he just might,
Take a break from giving babies malaria,
And pop down to your local area,
To fix the cataracts of your mum.
Hallelujah!