Month: March 2013

“Evolutionist”

There is no such thing as an “evolutionist”.
There are those who understand evolution, and those who do not.
Technology exists.
Some people understand it, some people don’t.
Imagine if the people who didn’t understand technology called everyone else “technologists” and said that the real reason we can communicate using radio waves is because God created cell phones 6 years ago using magical powers.

That is how stupid you sound.

Seven Godly Sins

If God destroys people for not obeying him, it is wrath.
If God punishes people for believing in a different god, it is envy.
If God lets tragedies and disasters happen of which he could have prevented, it is sloth.
If God allows anyone to hunger unnecessarily while he has enough for himself, it is gluttony.
If God expects his followers to dedicate their lives to worshiping and praying to him, it is pride.
If God insists his followers pay tithes and offering for his approvals, it is greed.
If God intends on being party to every marriage, it is lust.

I’d have said that the whole shagging Mary thing was lust…

10 Reasons to Oppose Marriage Equality

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans Always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around with tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behaviour. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriage like Britney Spears’ would be destroyed.
6. The only valid marriages are those which produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only on religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without both a male and female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy or longer life spans.