What is the best way to stop your child becoming an atheist?

What is the best way to stop your child becoming an athiest[sic]? I don’t want any of my children to be punished by God.

Do not educate them, or expose them to critical thinking, logic or science.

Lie to them constantly about how the world works. Feed them a steady diet of mumbo jumbo dressed up like real knowledge – the jumbo jet in the whirlwind for example – and pretend that it is deep wisdom.

Make them loathe their own natural bodies and functions. Convince them they are small and weak and worthless and need redemption. Tell them everything enjoyable is grievously wrong to even think about, and that their only fun should be in grovelling to an invisible friend.

Ensure that they resent anyone who is not like them in every way – skin color, nationality, political opinion but especially creed. Make such people out to be evil and vile and give them – impotent minorities all – the fictional power to somehow oppress and persecute the vast majority who do think like you.

Teach them to laugh at and dismiss out of hand any faith but their own. Early – early mind you – make sure they are taught the difference between superstitious deadly error – that one raving lunatic in the desert told the truth about a vicious god who killed people, and divine eternal truth – that another raving lunatic in the desert told the truth about a vicious god who killed people.

Instruct them with all severity and import to never question for themselves – to never think for themselves – to never live for themselves – but to seek answers only in one – just one – particular set of semi-literate bronze age folk tales.

Above all – and this cannot be overemphasized – make sure they cannot spell, use correct grammar, or understand basic English words.

That should do the trick.

In the end the easiest solution would be to go get a god who is less of a cock. They’re all much the same, particularly in the alarming lack of existence area.







4 thoughts on “What is the best way to stop your child becoming an atheist?”

  1. Explain to the child: “On the 7th.day he RESTED” and he is still resting to this day Hence the Baby,young Girls and Boys being RAPED and all other terrible Crimes.

  2. I now have been mulling over this for four days.The core of this dssouisicn is the nature of the subjective versus the objective.In a court of law, we use objective means to arrive at a verdict. This is why evidence matters, especially evidence that can be independently verified. Independent verification is the definition of objectivity and is at the heart of the scientific method. The kind of forensic evidence that is admissable in court uses the same scientific principles and techniques that created the medicines you take and keeps the airplane you travel in from crashing to the ground. Let’s give thanks for independently verifiable, repeatable results.Your spiritual experiences, no matter how real they may be, are not independently verifiable. They exist in you and for you alone. I do not deny their power for you, but they are not for others. There are things one shouldn’t pray about, and which verdict to give as a juror is among them. (I find the idea of jurors praying over the verdict to be quite terrifying.) When it comes to courts of law, it is better to keep the subjective out of it entirely.Occasionally, this separation is harder to maintain. What happens when spiritual witness and objective evidence unavoidably collide, as in the case of the historicity of the Book of Mormon?Here, I have to say that I agree more with your BYU archaeology professor than with you. Rather than the deny objective, independently verifiable facts that underlie the science of archaeology, this man chose to compartmentalize his life into separate subjective and objective realms. This makes sense to me because integrating scientific objectivity into his religious belief system would have come at high cost– he would have lost his faith and his job at BYU. He would likely have caused intense pain to his wife and family. Of course, he could have “integrated” his objective and subjective worlds by destroying his scientific integrity. It is admirable that he chose not to do this.

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