One Reply to “Fuck Me In The Ass Because I Love Jesus”

  1. FROM: http://www.koreus.com/modules/newbb/topic91946.html

    Garfunkel et Oates : “Fuck Me In The Ass Because I Love Jesus”

    I live by God’s rule
    So whatever people tell me that the bible tells me
    I will do
    Walk halls, high school, with my purity ring
    Not like those other girls; I got my morals in check
    It was easy to do till I got a boyfriend
    And pardon my french, but he’s cute as heck
    And I made a pact to keep my hymen intact And Jesus and I are tight
    Now learn about the birds and bees
    I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees
    ‘Cause the Bible says that premarital sex is wrong
    But Jason says that guys can’t wait that long
    And I don’t want to lose him to someone who’ll do him
    I need to figure something out
    Well there’s a loophole in the scripture that works really well
    So I can get him off without going to Hell
    It’s my Hail Mary full of grace
    In Jesus’s name we go to 5th base
    I thank you for making me holy
    I thank you for making me holes to choose from
    And since I’m not a godless whore, you’ll have to come in the backdoor
    Therefore:
    Fuck me in the ass ’cause I love Jesus
    The good lord would want it that way
    Gimme that sweet sensation of a irrational rationalization
    It’s just between you and me
    ‘Cause everyone knows its the sex
    That god can’t see
    It’s hard to be as pure as me
    To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity
    But wait until my marriage bed to give my husband my unsullied maiden head
    So take your cock out, shove it in my ass, fuck me until you cum
    OOOPS I mean
    Let’s join our souls and unite our bodies and fly with the wings of God
    Whatever you do, don’t touch my clitoris
    If you ring Satan’s doorbell God can’t ignore this
    And no prophylactics when you put it in ’cause birth controls for sluts and it’s a sin
    I emptied my bowels and laid out the towels
    I’m ready for romance
    Now I’m praying to the power that’s the highest
    But of all of my holes this one’s the driest
    And we can’t procreate if we anally copulate
    And God’s okay with sodomy but only if you’re straight
    And I’m stained through no matter what
    So I’m okay with everything but
    Everything but
    Everything buuuuuuuuut
    woaahh
    So fuck me in the ass ’cause I love Jesus
    The good lord would want it that way
    Gimme that sweet sensation of a irrational rationalization
    It’s just between you and me
    ‘Cause everyone knows its the sex that God can’t see
    I do whatever the Bible tells me to
    Except for the things that I choose to ignore, because they’re unrealistic and inconvenient, but the rest I live by for suuure
    So let’s not talk about how the good book bans shellfish, polyester, and divorce, and how it condones slavery and killing gays ’cause those parts don’t matter of course let’s cherrypick the part about losing my cherry and my (something) ambiguity is not mentioned and circumvent any real sacrifice
    But still feel pride in my arbitrary positions
    And don’t you dare question my convictions
    And don’t look closely at contradictions
    Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion
    And have faith in it’s complete jurisdiction
    That’s the only way to measure if you’re good or not
    And when you’re in a debate, just say to have faith
    ‘Cause up against logic it’s the only card you got
    So close your eyes
    Take a deep breath
    And fuck me in the ass ’cause I love Jesus
    The good lord would want it that way
    Gimme that sweet sensation of a irrational rationalization
    It’s just between you and me
    ‘Cause everyone knows its the sex that God can’t see
    Yeah my chastity belt has locks, so sometimes you need to think outside the box.

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