5 thoughts on “God Hates Fish”

  1. Hey LOLTheists.com! Fuck you and all of your fucking fish jokes. Don’t make me come over there with my omnipotent omniscience and kick you right in the fucking nuts! I know where they are!

  2. The facts that the rain in the Noah’s Flood myth would have been fresh water, thereby killing all the salt water creatures as well as the flood destroying all the land animals and plants is neatly overlooked by the religious reich.

    1. But I am omnipotent so I magic-god-thinged the fish so they could… breath… (?)… fresh water… or something. Many would say that this was the ultimate in jumping the shark but I just gave them all the clap so they’ll be too busy going to the doctor and explaining their spontaneous STD breakouts to their partners to join this thread and support your claims so don’t even bother.

      Sure it sounds like more trouble than just zapping the sin out of a few people that weren’t related to Noah (my main boat man) without interfering with free will but who’s gonna believe that I move in mysterious ways unless I do something weird now and then, right? And maybe I value the free will of fish more than the free will of humans. Douglas Adams was pretty close to the truth in: So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish before I smote him to keep the truth secret. Now he’s here in heaven where all of us atheists live after we die – did you think I believe in gods?

      I am The Lord, thy God!*

      *Offended by blasphemy? Suck it up, buttercup! I’m offended by people who play the offence card when they can’t win the argument on demonstrable points. Playing the offence card is a little bit childish… trust me I know. I made you childish, fool!

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