This Modern World: Female Orgasm

A new culture-war controversy explodes!
A new culture-war controversy explodes!
The pursuit of the orgasm leads women to have sex – – which leads to abortions!
And that’s why the female orgasm is a violation of religious liberty!

Conservative pundits weigh in!
There’s nothing in the constitution that guarantees the right to a female orgasm!
If such a thing even exists!
I’ve certainly never seen one!

Worrisome hypothetical scenarios proliferate!
For instance – – if a female government employee spends part of her pay on a vibrator – – aren’t we being forced to subsidize her taxpayer-funded orgasms?
I demand an exemption of conscience!

Sensible moderates look for common ground.
Can’t we all agree that women should be allowed to have the occasional orgasm, in the context of a societally-sanctioned monogamous heterosexual relationship – – as long as it doesn’t take too long?

But state lgislators in Virginia have some ideas of their own.
We believe women suspected of orgasms should be forced to submit to an invasive gynecological exam1
No reason! We just want to show them who’s boss!
To bad our governor caved to the orgasm lobby!

Of course, it’s important to make certain distinctions in a debate like this.
Obviously the male orgasm is biologically necessary for reproduction.
Indeed! If god had intended women to have orgasms–
he would have given them penises.